I LAY MY LOVE ON YOU;

{Saturday, December 23, 2006}
maybe im not the girl theyre looking for.

hohoho, KARON IS BACK FROM PENANG :D

and karon is in pain about everyhing
like omg, MY HOMEWORK IS A NIGHTMARE
its already the 23! and i havent done ANYTHING
someone KILL ME.

oh by the way. penang has a cold pool which was so disgustingly dirty you only can see things 2 feet from you.
i mean its really stupid. AND THAT ACCOUNT WAS WITH GOOGLES OKAY.
can you imagine i was doing routine WITHOUT GOOGLES :D

anyway, so people laughed at me for rooting for liverpool when they were at their difficulty point.
BUT HOHOHO, LOOK AT THEM NOW! :D
im so in love with pools okay. im even starting to like bellamy and accept pennant :/
and i was watching the BARCA vs A.MADRID and i didnt know who to root for.
but the perfect result! :D
1-1 draw :D
and my torres so cute please. he grew back his hair! :D

maybe im NOT a girl,
i mean wasnt i supposed to be a guy
a guy that youre names shawn.
maybe i cant be the girl you want,
the girl so polite and gentle.
maybe youre should just leave me to be.

and whats up with ER please
she looks like a samurai :O
hohoho

FF/F is ready!
and come RC come! :D

and the memories so dear
i miss you already

[[4:13 PM;

{Thursday, December 14, 2006}

im really glad we're back the way its supposed to be.
the way i hope we would be.
and hopefully, the way you want to be

this is getting horrible. theres more homework than i expected. i mean. THIS IS WAY BEYOND INSANITY.

English
1) Words & Phrases worksheet
2) It's Beautifully Written! Book Review

Math
3) Math Paper
4) Study for Mensuration test

Science
5) tessa has to do some bio things
6) but im sure i have physics things to do too.
7) Chem Paper

Chinese
8) Compo
9) Yellow book comments
10) Cloze passage and comprehension

Literature
11) Midsummer's Night Dream
12) get magazines
13) Love songs/poems

geog
14) something that tessa doesnt have to do.

okay, you will realise that this list always has something to do with tessa. cause i got this list from her.
and tell you a secret?
I HAVENT STARTED ON A CM ON THE HOMEWORK.
i swear im in deep trouble. i still have to go to penang.
this is deep shit i tell you. im like DOOMED. dead, died
no wait, im in a position worse than being dead.
AND I HAVENT GOT MY BOOKS EITHER. i mean. its like.
shit man.
and what the hell is mensuration? i like totally forgot about it.

three cheers for me.

have you ever thought that maybe this is somehting i dont want? this is some situation i dont WANT to be in? i never asked for this. and how am i supposed to know how to react in this situation? honestly, has any other 14 year old girl faced this much. maybe there is. but i dont think im that BRAVE and WISE and GOOD and (okay, so my vocab isnt that great) but the point is. i didnt ask for this okay. i honestly didnt. but if you think i did, theres nothing i can do.
im sorry

oh, im supposed to be down to the gym soon. but its raining? :O
oh man, im going to hate myself.
why did i have to go see that CORE CONCEPT? :O
my knee isnt exactly IMPROVING for EUNICE'S info
(oh, the doct's name is eunice)
oh wells.

HOHAHE.
RC IS COMING LIKE SO SOOOOOON (:
lets win it yes, BRING IT ON (:
♥ FF/F

and this time, i hope its real
♥

[[2:07 PM;

{Tuesday, December 12, 2006}

im really sorry,
will you forgive me ):

[[11:42 PM;

lifes this way,
and who was i to kid,
that i could make it right

im back on the computer! :O
ok, and i havent exactly blogged about camp.
i shall attempt

maybe i still want to do this
maybe it has become part of me.
maybe i have no choice.
maybe this is my life,
and i just have to do it.
or maybe i cant bear to do IT.

oh the camp is like OMG. i swear i've never WALKED/BRISK WALK/JOG/RUN this much.
its like my heels are living in hell and begging me to put it in a osim SOMETHING and my knees were constantly in pain and my HEAD is constantly in pain.
oh man, i wasnt that tired honestly, i was just in PAIN.

maybe i dont want to do this
maybe i dont care if i have a choice
i just dont want it any more.
maybe i want to STOP
and i dont care what it takes

but mysteriously, i survived the camp
and even went for trng on that same day it ended
and i foud out i couldnt do my figures anymore. even coach was shocked ahah :D
WOO! I SHOCK PEOPLE LALALA

and then that english has to come back
and make my life difficult
wasnt i clear enough,
and now what am i supposed to do.

oh, and the camp was so emotional okay haha :D
-looks at melo.
i think im a bad cos you know.
i mean like, look at melo, she doesnt get to eat, doesnt get to bathe.
and me? even if i was a cos for one whole full day.
i was quite like a normal camper. having time to do everything. and i didnt even have to take that plastic bag to run. beat was the one that had to do it.
:/

you know, you really make an impact in my life.
youre really important to me
and before i make any decisions,
i do think of you.
i think of how you'll react,
whether you'll like it anot

trng has been bad i swear.
emotionally too.
i mean, my knee is already a big enough problem, and so is my head.
but honestly, im not really handling it well emotionally. people say to excell in a sport, you have to WANT TO excell in it. but truthfully i dont. i mean, i even feel a greater achievement in football even if its a useless match and the swimming is like OVERSEAS.
okay, i make no sense. nevermind haha :D

im sorry im acting like a prat
and i've been hurting you
both emotionally and physically.
sometimes, i dont know what im doing either.
sometimes, im so out of controll
and probably out of my mind.

oh, i've pierced my ear. :D
and no jacq, im not les.
im simply not a girl anymore ;D

but im sorry im being a prat
and im sorry i've been hurting you.

okay, jacq, im joking.
im a girl okay, i still find torres hot :D:D:D:D
and i admit david becks is hot fine
NOW EVERYONE HAPPY?
-looks at yuqing

it hasnt been great for me
but i know i shouldnt be venting it on you.
things arent great for you either i know
but somehow, i just cant manage it well
or maybe its just that im a coward.
im a weakling and i cant handle it.

oh, did i mention i pierced my ear? :D
oh i did :O
okay, so what else have i done ..
OH I WATCHED OPEN SEASON.
and i cried. oh typical me. im so weird hohoho. i mean, it aint even worth 7 bucks.
and im CRYING! :O
im sorry im this way ahha :D

so im sorry for everything
for being so easily jealous and demanding
im sorry for being a nobody ruining your life.
im sorry for hurting you and making you feel at fault
im sorry for blaming you & teasing you.
but you realise, i do want to be part of your life

oh, and although pract was short today, at least im PRACTISING
oh, and i went to the doctor today
which, made me quite irritated.
i mean, im supposed to be INJURED, not "dont have enough quad muscles" i mean :( i have okay. and thats not supposed to affect my knee isnt it.
now i have to ice my knee EVERYDAY. stretch EVERY HOUR and go to the gym EVERY OTHER DAY. it doesnt really make any sense to me ):

im sorry, i really am
will you forgive me?
i really miss you,
and i really love you ):

penang trip is coming, everyone seems excited.
and i really like sam's routine, but i dont understand the need to learn it. i mean, even if i learn it, i cant do it. so whats the use. whats more, i cant even remember the routines im supposed to remember sometimes. such a waste of brain space :O
ok, so i admit, im not excited about m'sia open at all.
i mean, what to expect. 10 + teams are going there! we cant even beat APS.

once i had hope in life,
halfway through, i learnt its useless
but i gained the hope back.
but now i realise, im just being naive

and it seems like no one is going to australia open, and my parents are fickle minded.
i dont even know what theyre thinking of now. they seem to think that im a coward that cant stand pain. okay, so manbe I AM
joyce still have something against me. just like philip.
i guess i just dont have the nice face huh

sometimes, i thank god for having no life
because its just crap.
but maybe i do want my life back.
maybe.

okay, i have finished my post lalala
its so random and confusing heheh :D good luck in reading it! :D

but to this special someone,
i hope you understand the post
and i hope you do read it
and know, YOUre the special someone

[[10:26 PM;

{Tuesday, December 05, 2006}

i miss you ):

[[5:07 PM;

HOLA.

it only seemed like yesterday that i just got back. and now im going off again.
life likes to play games sometimes dont they.
but now, im just so tired i dont feel like playing. i dont feeling like going down on my knees and hands and shout with all my might.
what i feel like doing now is to rest and rest for like 3 weeks.
i mean, whats wrong with life, doesnt it ever gives a break.

i read my dairy again today.
and realise just how YOUNG i am. how im not used to all these things that are for the older and matured. and i laugh at myself. girl, youre a GIRL, youre FOURTEEN.
forget about me being the guy forget about me being the oldest and matured.
cant they just realise, maybe i DONT want to be the oldest. i didnt ask for it.

530 tomm. i have to wake up at 430?
i mean, even when theres school i wake up at 530. NOT REACH AT THAT TIME :O

take me back, back in time, back to the future, back to where i wanna be

ADIOS :D

[[4:37 PM;

{Monday, December 04, 2006}
the need for cubicles

HOLA!

OH FINALLY IM ONLINE.
after like what seemed forever :D

it has been a long time yes
and liverpool has won like twice so far :D
even the away match that i stayed up to watch for
SO WORTHIT YES ;)

and the middlesbrough vs manu is so frustrating for me okay.
i mean, I AM a manu fan, and they ARE supposed to be good. but i mean, look at the way they dived to get the penalty & free kicks man. EVEN MY CR ALSO DIVE CAN ): and i was celebrating when middlesbrough shot in that goal loh. they honestly didnt deserve to lose.
oh man u AH. aiyoh

okay, anyway, hk was fun :D
the rollercoasters too :D
BUT STUPID SISSYS REFUSED TO TAKE THAT FUN ABYSS RIDE LOH. fine, nevermind, it only shows me & my power PARTNER ROCKS :D
hohoho :D
bought alot of jerseys!
TORRES JERSEY :DDDD
OMG, DID I MENTION JUST HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM.

this guy that im madly in love with
and night in the hotel are fun, so is the plane ride.
DESPITE THE FACT THAT THE STUPID GAMES CANT WORK ): haha, and the fighting for the gameboy is damn funny. ;D

okay, not that im trying to brag or anything.
i can finally tell the world (AND MY MOTHER'S MOTHER AND MY BROTHER) that i won something and i have medals to prove it! :D
i finally have something okay. FINALLY OKAY.

the trngs were okay, the people were nice and me and my power partner did the best duet routine of our lives! yay :D
figures were okay, although joyce looked ultra BUAYSONG. and i got average of 4 points lah :D
team was :OOO i mean, i screw up quite alot but i think its the best le. hah, screw up the exiting. its funny to see me on tape :O
stroke was lousy lah. but i liked the treading water. cute okay, i was facing everyone else, and there was this 2 hk/macau swimmers who were really friendly and we were smiling and laughing at each other :D
oh, for the DAY BY DAY BASIS, go to http://ragbag-.blogspot.com :D
full report :D

oh my, i do have alot to say yes?

so anyway, had alot of tummy ache there and headaches too.
now i come back and i still have tummyaches and my lips are :O omg, i wonder what happen hah :D
and did i mention the banner was UGLY. im not bragging honestly but, i think i could have done a better job :O

i miss hk
and i wanna go back there and stay in that hotel forever

jacq says im deperately in need of a good/angmo looking boyfriend before i start raping girls :O

penang competition is coming and i realise melo is absolutely right. and have no life what so ever. other than swimming, do i have time for anyt other things? no.
aye, aye aye
STC is coming and i have no idea what to expect.
aiyuh
my physical standard is dropping RAPIDLY and i cant do anything about it ):
een my mother can run more and faster than me okay ):
oh heck

RC IS COMMING :D
and i want to WIN IT.
i mean, looking at a throphy that says: FOOTBALL IS RANDOMLY ________
oops, i forgot the last word. but the point is, ISNT IT JUST SO CUTE :D

we speak one lang, FOOTBALL :D

oh, and my comp broke down ):
and im now using this laptop that im entirely not used to. tsk.

yes, thanks for reading this post!
oh what crap :OO

ADIOS! :D

so maybe this is for the better?

[[3:29 PM;